The horn blows;
it surrenders into the night,
like no body knows
what it means.
The horn blows
and we stop, broken and all
looking up to the sky
to see the light.
The horn blows,
it is patient and wanning.
We all breathe once more,
a sad sigh of life.
The night is dark and full of empty promises.
He’s not coming home.
Poetry drips from your lips
like you’ve never rehearsed these lines.
But these words aren’t meant for me;
You were never really mine.
Does it make me bad person
if I feel nothing
and I am nothing more than this:
an absolute waste of words
Remember after every breakup
not everyone can handle your fire.
You’re a tumblr of whisky,
not a cup of tea.
For the longest time
I have known myself as
After all these years,
I still cannot confess why.
This is my greatest strength.
I have no worth
But I will always try to be better.
I never said the things that mattered most
I would look at you, and fold in two.
You gave me more than butterflies.
I wanted to say –
I love how your eyes crinkle when you smile
and the snug fit of your shirt on your shoulders.
or how I admire your joy in simple things,
and how before I would leave,
you would always give me one last cuddle.
But I didn’t. I turned away.
I wasn’t used to giving such affection
when I have received so little.
I was afraid of the humiliation
of being ignored and being unreciprocated.
I am ashamed.
Which is why it made all the negative things I said
sound so much harsher,
made me seem so much cooler, and indifferent.
So now I say for the lack of anything other –
I’m sorry. I hope you’re ok.
The curtain descends
it is dark
And we are cold.
we see no God, no evil.
Only the empty before us
And the fall to below.
We mourn the feathers
that our cushion our fall.
This is hell my children,
The less I had, the more whole I felt.
I had less of the static
and more of me inside.
I knew to others I was becoming worthless
I was finally alive.
It took moments of
for you to sink in and call me home
But it took years of self-loathing and hate
to gauge you out
And you weren’t worth a second of it.
One of life’s most simple
and beautiful pleasures
is watching those you love
bloom around you.
Is there anything more life-affirming than that?